Poetry

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Dorcas_Aurelia
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Poetry

Postby Dorcas_Aurelia » Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:00 am

My creative writing class recently had an assignment to do a love poem, and when I shared mine in class, people liked it, so I thought I'd let you guys have a look.

No, it's not inspired by anyone in particular, unfortunately. I just used the imagery that fit easily into the metaphor.

Sundae Love
Your skin is cool and soft. It shares the color of vanilla ice cream.
You lips, shiny and sweet, are red as a maraschino cherry.
Your smiling cheeks are sprinkled with freckles of chocolate jimmies.
Your eyes shine in the glorious green hue of M&Ms,
And even when you're gone, the afterimage remains burned into my mind,
Like the food coloring from the candy shells staining the ice cream.
Your wavy, golden brown hair is the caramel sauce,
Lazily drizzled, delicately sitting atop the magnificent creation.
Oh, to dive into your smooth curves like I were ravishing scoops of delicious ice cream.
I desire to taste every part of you, and share you with no one.
All that's missing is the whipped cream.
Last edited by doug19992000 on Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:47 am, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: Split the two threads. I will leave this one in the "Literature" section though.
My dream is to hold a baby tiger, getting scared about it, and running away in fear.
It's a dream of failure. -Miyako

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Sentire
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Re: Poems

Postby Sentire » Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:41 am

Dorcas_Aurelia wrote:We don't have a thread for people to post poetry or other little writings yet?

My creative writing class recently had an assignment to do a love poem, and when I shared mine in class, people liked it, so I thought I'd let you guys have a look.

No, it's not inspired by anyone in particular, unfortunately. I just used the imagery that fit easily into the metaphor.

Sundae Love
Your skin is cool and soft. It shares the color of vanilla ice cream.
You lips, shiny and sweet, are red as a maraschino cherry.
Your smiling cheeks are sprinkled with freckles of chocolate jimmies.
Your eyes shine in the glorious green hue of M&Ms,
And even when you're gone, the afterimage remains burned into my mind,
Like the food coloring from the candy shells staining the ice cream.
Your wavy, golden brown hair is the caramel sauce,
Lazily drizzled, delicately sitting atop the magnificent creation.
Oh, to dive into your smooth curves like I were ravishing scoops of delicious ice cream.
I desire to taste every part of you, and share you with no one.
All that's missing is the whipped cream.

Wow... did the temperature in this room just go up about ten degrees? :oops: Very impressive. Any woman would feel lucky to have a man write about her that way. I loved taking creative writing in college. It seems you are doing fairly well at it, if this is any indication?

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chrisb
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Re: Poems

Postby chrisb » Wed Nov 11, 2009 11:36 am

Jesus... best love poem ever, if I credit you can I use it on any ladies I'd like to win over in the future?
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Saki
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Re: Poems

Postby Saki » Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:18 pm

Song lyrics count as poetry too?
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Sentire
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Re: Poems

Postby Sentire » Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:29 pm

chrisb wrote:Jesus... best love poem ever, if I credit you can I use it on any ladies I'd like to win over in the future?

Lol! That's so cute! At first I pictured you reciting it, holding the girls hand in yours, then ending by giving her a soft kiss on the cheek, and whispering, "that poem was written by my friend, Dorcas_aurelia". The girl would be like "huh?!" Then I realized you could write it to her as well... so my goofy vision disappeared. :D

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Re: Poems

Postby d.yaro » Wed Nov 11, 2009 11:23 pm

Saki wrote:Song lyrics count as poestry too?
My take on this thread: If they're your work then the answer is "Yes".
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chrisb
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Re: Poems

Postby chrisb » Thu Nov 12, 2009 2:51 am

Sentire wrote:
chrisb wrote:Jesus... best love poem ever, if I credit you can I use it on any ladies I'd like to win over in the future?

Lol! That's so cute! At first I pictured you reciting it, holding the girls hand in yours, then ending by giving her a soft kiss on the cheek, and whispering, "that poem was written by my friend, Dorcas_aurelia". The girl would be like "huh?!" Then I realized you could write it to her as well... so my goofy vision disappeared. :D


I think I'd use real names in that case haha. But you made my day I kept giggling like a little girl about your post all day.
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Dorcas_Aurelia
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Re: Poems

Postby Dorcas_Aurelia » Thu Nov 12, 2009 5:41 am

As long as you give credit, sure, feel free to share it.
My dream is to hold a baby tiger, getting scared about it, and running away in fear.
It's a dream of failure. -Miyako

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Saki
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Re: Poems

Postby Saki » Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:50 pm

Good.

Deep Within (A. Ariza)

You've pulled me out of the darkness
You picked up the pieces of my broken heart
Love, I owe you so much, my debt is so great
I don't even know where to start

But deep within I'm afraid
That you never were there
It may only be a dream
This thought makes me scared
So please don't let go of my hand
Wake me up, kiss me now
Make me know this will last
And we'll be together, somehow.

Your smile is so reassuring
Your voice takes my breath away
Tell me you're not going to leave me
Tell me you're here to stay

But deep within I'm afraid
That you never were there
It may only be a dream
This thought makes me scared
So please don't let go of my hand
Wake me up, kiss me now
Make me know this will last
And we'll be together, somehow.

My heart aches when you're not near
I can smile only when I know you're here

But deep within I'm afraid
That you never were there
It may only be a dream
This thought makes me scared
So please don't let go of my hand
Wake me up, kiss me now
Make me know this will last
And we'll be together, somehow.
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Psycho 101
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Re: Poetry Section

Postby Psycho 101 » Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:00 pm

Figured I'd share two myself from my own collection of poems I have....


Fallen Warriors

What ghosts walk these hallowed hills
Where once the cry of battle reigned
Who are these smokey misty forms
That by their blood this ground was stained

Their cry of pain floats on the wind
Echoing from the highest ridge
Calling for comfort and aid but alas
The hole is too wide to bridge

Only god can help these souls
Who have fallen on the line
Build no monument to these men
This ground shall be their shrine

Let angels hover above the trees
And guard these men of yore
Kiss their cheek and sooth their brow
For death shall be no more


My Desire

In the still of the night
Without sunlight to intrude
I see the moonlight in your eyes
As it sets up the mood
Playing music soft and low
While romance fills the air
I cannot help but be aroused
The moment I see you standing there

You submit to my tender embrace
While candles flick their flame
And the smell of your sweet bodily perfume
Seems to drive my lust insane
As I look deep into your eyes
And run my fingers through your hair
I taste the sweetness of your neck
And I nibble gently on your ear

Then I whisper sweet words of love
And you answer me with a sigh
And in a very sensual way
Your luscious body comes alive
You're the heat of my desire
As we slowly start to undress
I tenderly then lay you down
As you welcome my soft caress

With your heavenly sensual curves
You have a taste I can't resist
Your breasts show me your response
When I touch them with a kiss
As I soak inside your love
Your pleasure is my only ambition
I can feel my passion start to rise
As we make love in every position

You give to me so much pleasure
The ecstasy you provide is beyond compare
With you wrapped inside my arms
And this heated love we share
No one can ever come close
To this passion that we inspire
For only you can fill me with this joy
And quench the heat of my desire

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Psycho 101
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Re: Poems

Postby Psycho 101 » Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:03 pm

Ummm we actually do have a poetry section in the Literature section so if you guys don't mind I'll merge the two in a bit so posts get preserved.

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Dorcas_Aurelia
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Re: Poetry Section

Postby Dorcas_Aurelia » Fri Nov 13, 2009 2:07 am

I figured that thread was for posting other people's poems that you enjoyed, whereas this one would be for original works.
My dream is to hold a baby tiger, getting scared about it, and running away in fear.
It's a dream of failure. -Miyako

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Bonham
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Re: Poetry

Postby Bonham » Sat Nov 14, 2009 3:25 am

Rough sketch from a song I started to compose yesterday:

Zerkalo

Passing over in leave
As the city lights bloom
Ascending into the
Darkness all around us
With our memories and
Dreams alit inside this
Way home and away on
This aerial isthmus

I know it hasn’t been
As long as it should be
But for her, it will be
A miracle to see
Me again this next spring
Yet she still is alive
And that’s more than they had
Ever expected to believe

And the time passes on
Regrets and accomplishments
Of yesterday seem so
Distant now, exhausted
With this fading candle
On these nostalgic waters
But the flame does not die
Moving from wick to
Another, growing, spreading
Across these browns and greens
Ascending black and white
Into infinity

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Sentire
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Re: Poetry

Postby Sentire » Sat Nov 14, 2009 6:02 am

@Hellkorn: Very intriguing... it has atmosphere, if that makes any sense. Two thumbs up for the lyrics... good luck with the music.

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Re: Poetry

Postby Psycho 101 » Sat Nov 14, 2009 6:33 am

Ok so the staff decision was keep both threads going. We figured one could be more for our own personal items we write and one for the works of others. Which one is which we'll leave up to you guys.

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Dorcas_Aurelia
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Re: Poetry

Postby Dorcas_Aurelia » Sun Nov 15, 2009 11:54 pm

If I might make a critique of some of the poets: punctuation usually follows the same rules in poetry as it does in prose, regardless of where the line breaks fall.
My dream is to hold a baby tiger, getting scared about it, and running away in fear.
It's a dream of failure. -Miyako

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Bonham
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Re: Poetry

Postby Bonham » Fri Nov 20, 2009 5:03 am

Not quite interested in staying accurate in that way, as my format (which is slightly changed for what I posted here) allows me to better adjust to melody and any time signature changes -- an example would be commas denoting appropriate pauses that may otherwise escape me for the first few times that I sing.

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Sentire
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Re: Poetry

Postby Sentire » Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:43 pm

This is kinda funny... I was unpacking a box the other week and came across a letter from an old friend of mine. She was this beautiful yet nutsy older woman I worked with back when I was a freshman in college. Apparently I gave her a copy of a poem I wrote when I was in high school. She was reminiscing in the letter, and said how she remembered the poem all these years (the letter was included in the card she gave me for my wedding :oops: ). She actually wrote the poem down in the letter... it's nothing special... so I'm kinda embarrassed by it. I think I wrote it around freshman year in high school. I remember telling my parents I wanted this on my tombstone. For some reason I had it in my head I wouldn't live past the age of 28. Well, here it is:

An empty page is all that's left
of what I have to say.
My mind is blank,
my heart is cold,
no tears to give away.

The days go by, the fear I feel,
I'm haunted by the past.
No time to tell,
not all is well,
my life goes by too fast.

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Not a Jellyfish
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Re: Poetry Section

Postby Not a Jellyfish » Sat Apr 23, 2011 6:14 am

I actually wrote this years ago, but I had long forgotten about it, recently rediscovered it, and find that now it rings more true than ever. Please feel free to let me know your honest thoughts about my writing. I am open to criticism.

Chrysalis

You are the caterpillar
but I am the butterfly
changed by your
crane
tearing down my walls
this edifice
this artifice
destroyed
collapsing upon itself
with no structure to hold within
use your claws to pick up my pieces
the rubble
left, in your wake
left, cold stones
shivering in the frigid air
as you crawled in
to my chrysalis
but (I) emerged alone.
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